Finding Your Howl

http://changethis.com/manifesto/51.01.YourHowl/pdf/51.01.YourHowl.pdf
Jonathon Flaum writes of two stories. The first is the story of a red wolf that is released back into the wild after being in captivity. The second is the story of life and how you find yourself by doing what you least want to do, in this case it is Mumon dying. I found the first story to be interesting. Mumon spent his life in an enclosed area having scheduled meals. He did not know how to live in the wild but once out there his natural instincts begin to take over. By the end a farmer kills him but through this Mumon finds his howl. The only way out was through and this is true for us as well in order to find our own voice.

There are many poems, songs and lyrics that speak to me on a creative level. Currently a favorite of mine is the song "What I'm Looking For" by Jonny Diaz. The whole song is fantastic but I really am moved by the beginning of the song;
My heart feels so empty, and my soul is so dry
How can life be so heavy when there's nothing inside
I have searched 'till I'm worn out, I have looked everywhere
For my place of contentment and a reason to care
God, tell me if You're really there
(http://www.newreleasetuesday.com/lyricsdetail.php?lyrics_id=31082)
I find that most people in life have a feeling of emptiness at some point or another. While you go through life feeling empty there is still a part of life that is weighted. This part of life that is weighted is a mystery especially when you feel nothing inside. People spend an entire lifetime trying to figure life out and try so hard to fit into somewhere. I like how the artist, Jonny Diaz, feels this dryness in his life but asks for God to essentially fill him up.
The chorus of the song is;
'Cause I've been all the places, I've seen all the faces
I haven't found what I live for
And I've played all the games and they all seem the same
I'm looking for something more
Are You what I'm looking for... oh, are You what I'm looking for
 (http://www.newreleasetuesday.com/lyricsdetail.php?lyrics_id=31082)
People are always looking for more and I feel as though Diaz thinks he might have found a solution to his emptiness. He is questioning what he thinks he has found and I like that. To be creative I feel means asking yourself questions of uncertainty. These questions mean that you are thinking about things and having a creative process. Things do not just happen all at once and turn out perfect, it takes time and reflection.
The next part of the song;
I have painted the smile on my unhappy face
And I've laughed like a child, but I feel out of place
And my life is just skin-deep, and my music's all gone
Who will bring me a melody? Who will give me new songs?
God, tell me if You're the One

(Are you what...) I'm looking for inside of me?
Are You the air that I can breathe?
Are You the path that leads me to a smile?
Oh, when everything inside of me tells me that it's You I need
You stand there with arms open wide, and with tears in my eyes I let down my pride,
'cause You're what I'm looking for
 (http://www.newreleasetuesday.com/lyricsdetail.php?lyrics_id=31082)
These two verses continue Diaz's thought process in the discovery to fulfill his emptiness. He feels out of place but then realizes that in order for himself to achieve what he wants he needs to lay down his own pride and give himself up to get to something greater (like the red wolf in "Finding Your Howl"). This goes through the a creative process that I feel I model/ can model my own creativity after. 

 By the end of the song the mystery of the pain is resolved in the lyric;
'Cause I've been all the places, I've seen all the faces
And now I know just what I live for
And I've played all the games, oh, but You're not the same
And now I am looking no more
I've found what I'm looking for... I've found what I'm looking for... 
(http://www.newreleasetuesday.com/lyricsdetail.php?lyrics_id=31082)
For me, this resolution comes out in such a powerful way. Although it took a lot of searching and even the giving up of the life you are used to, it is worth it in the end to feel the weight and dryness go away. You have to endure the pain to discover and accept the results. Personally, I think my creative works in this way too.  It is as if Diaz found the puzzle that he is the piece to and it fits perfectly. There is a hope with this song that people want to hear and creatively it gives me the thought that no matter how uncreative I feel and how awful I think things are going, there is a resolution because the puzzle is in front of me and all I have to do is put the pieces in the right spot.

Full Song;
My heart feels so empty, and my soul is so dry
How can life be so heavy when there's nothing inside
I have searched 'till I'm worn out, I have looked everywhere
For my place of contentment and a reason to care
God, tell me if You're really there

'Cause I've been all the places, I've seen all the faces
I haven't found what I live for
And I've played all the games and they all seem the same
I'm looking for something more
Are You what I'm looking for... oh, are You what I'm looking for

I have painted the smile on my unhappy face
And I've laughed like a child, but I feel out of place
And my life is just skin-deep, and my music's all gone
Who will bring me a melody? Who will give me new songs?
God, tell me if You're the One

(Are you what...) I'm looking for inside of me?
Are You the air that I can breathe?
Are You the path that leads me to a smile?
Oh, when everything inside of me tells me that it's You I need
You stand there with arms open wide, and with tears in my eyes I let down my pride,
'cause You're what I'm looking for

'Cause I've been all the places, I've seen all the faces
And now I know just what I live for
And I've played all the games, oh, but You're not the same
And now I am looking no more
I've found what I'm looking for... I've found what I'm looking for... 
 (http://www.newreleasetuesday.com/lyricsdetail.php?lyrics_id=31082)